Author: Debbie Provencher

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When Sex isn’t Sexy
While most television shows and movies include casual sexual encounters, rarely are the lovers (and I use that term loosely) shown getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, for short). Some consequences of uncommitted sex make it to the big screen.  Unexpected pregnancies have become an expected plot twist, thanks to movies like Juno and Knocked Up that center on the concept of an ill-timed conception.  The emotional drama after a relationship turns sexual or a sexual relationship ends makes for interesting viewing (think 500 Days of Summer, Friends with Benefits, or Vanilla Sky). But STDs seem to be the unspoken, unexpected consequence.
Every crisis contains an opportunity – even an unplanned pregnancy
Crisis.  Gut wrenching, knee buckling, breath-sucking, life-changing personal crisis. We’ve all been there. Usually we wonder what to do next or how we will ever overcome the unexpected problem.  We had plans and dreams . . . and suddenly those visions are gone and even our day-to-day living seems threatened. When life-changing obstacles threaten our plans, most of us don’t – or can’t – see the potential benefit of the ordeal.
Valentine’s Day on Social Media—a Lot Not to Like
Like many holidays, Valentine's Day stirs mixed emotions for many people. To celebrate it, we buy chocolate or flowers for those we love, and even send children to school with bags full of handwritten notes and treats for their classmates. Couples go out to dinner or exchange gifts to mark the holiday. But what about those who are single on Valentine’s Day? What about the person whose spouse has passed away? Many people have an attached sadness to this day every year. These feelings of sadness can easily turn into an (understandable) sense of bitterness towards the day. While this is no new concept, there is something in society that I feel has made this experience worse for many people – even people who are in a relationship on this Valentine’s Day:  social media.
Hope to be married someday? Stop hoping and start dating!
I recently heard that 85% of Americans hope to marry someday, according to a study by Rutgers University, which also found that 82% of female high school seniors say that having a good marriage is extremely important to them.  Whether you are a high school or college senior, or even a senior citizen, a good first step to marriage is a date. A date, what’s that? – all but the senior citizens are asking.  If you are clueless as to how to begin the dating process, consider the following helpful tips posted on the Love & Fidelity Network’s blog recently. (Click here for the entire article: http://www.loveandfidelity.org/2016/02/18/3-tips-bring-dating-back/) The author describes herself as “now happily married, having survived college dating (despite the scariness).”
A Lifetime of Love

My first Valentine’s Day as a married woman, at the ripe old age of 22, I had a major meltdown when stores began to close and no flowers appeared. It was a Saturday night in the days before supermarkets sold fresh (or what passes for...

A Gift That Keeps on Giving
This Christmas season as I scanned my Instagram feed, I came across a photo of my friend Abby’s son in front of a big tree in her workplace.  It warmed my heart to think of how her life has been changed for the better by a pregnancy decision more than five years ago. When I first met Abby, she was attending a college in Massachusetts, and had come home to make a decision about an unexpected pregnancy.  It was a difficult decision.  Continuing with her pregnancy meant she might be the only pregnant student at her school.  It might mean lost opportunities.
What movies and sit-coms leave out when it comes to sex

There is little left to the imagination in most movies or television shows when it comes to sex.  But STDs get little or no airtime.  Sexually transmitted diseases are like the “he-who-must-not-be-named” character who never appears on screen. This isn’t surprising.  STDs don’t have any positive...

The Difference a Dad Makes

In New Jersey, a father cannot legally prevent an abortion, but he can prevent his child from being placed for adoption by withholding consent. Given these realities, what role can a father play in an unplanned pregnancy decision? A typical guy might feel he is being...

Once a Mother, Always a Mother

Mothers' Day arrives at the height of spring's beauty, yet it often brings painful memories and conflicted feelings. Some of this pain is straightforward and simple to understand. To put it simply, moms can be a pain at times. I know and I am. Although my...

No Grey Area Here: Love Shouldn’t Hurt

A brochure Lighthouse distributes poses a question many will be asking this Valentine’s weekend: “Is it love?”  Those who are newly “in a relationship” will want to know if their infatuation is really love, or how deeply their boyfriend or girlfriend cares for them –...