21 May How To Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant
So you’ve taken a pregnancy test — or three. Perhaps you even came into one of our centers for a free ultrasound to confirm. Now you’re faced with one of the hardest challenges of all: telling your parents you’re pregnant.
No teen or young adult wants to go through this situation, but it still happens to thousands every year. You might feel paralyzed by feelings of fear, embarrassment, or shame. However, the longer you put it off, the more difficult the situation can become. Here is some simple advice to help you tell your parents about your pregnancy. For more information and support, contact Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center today.
Confirm the Results
The first thing you should do is to make sure you’re actually pregnant. While this may sound like a no-brainer, there are many factors that go into taking a pregnancy test accurately. If you have not yet medically confirmed your pregnancy, come to Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center for a free ultrasound before making any decisions. All services are free and there are no age restrictions. You’re welcome to bring a friend or a relative with you if you’re unsure about telling your parents before the pregnancy is confirmed.
Sooner is Better
Telling your parents you’re pregnant early on is almost always better. The longer you wait to tell your parents about your pregnancy, the more complications and difficulties can arise. Often, waiting to tell your family causes you more stress and anticipation — which is exactly what you don’t want in early pregnancy. Besides, in many cases, the reaction you imagine is much worse than the reaction you will actually get. It’s best to tell your parents soon and start working out your next steps.
Telling Others First Can Make it Easier
If you’re worried about how your parents will react, you can choose to confide in someone else first. Telling a sibling, relative, or close friend can be a good way to “test the waters” and gauge how your parents may react. Knowing you have that person’s support may give you the extra courage you need. It can also help relieve some of the stress and anxiety of keeping a huge secret, making the telling itself easier to do.
Make Sure They’re Prepared
Obviously, very few parents are ready to hear that their child is pregnant unexpectedly. But you can soften the impact by making sure they hear the news in a comfortable setting. Don’t blurt it out in passing or while you’re in a public place, and don’t tell them in anger or out of fear. Think through what you want to say and give them a heads up that you want to sit down and talk.
Make Sure You’re Prepared
Take some time beforehand to think through what you want to say. Something that may be helpful is to write down everything you’re thinking and feeling. That way, when the time comes to have the conversation, you will have a list of all of the thoughts and feelings you want to express in front of you, and won’t be as stressed about what you’re going to say.
Anticipate and Accept Their Feelings
It’s likely that your parents will be angry, disappointed, or confused by the news. This isn’t ideal for you, but it is expected. Remember, your parents are people, too, with their own plans and goals. Plus, you’ll be getting their immediate “knee-jerk” reaction; they haven’t had time to process the news like you’ve had. They might even say something that is mean or hurtful — and so might you. But it’s important not to let this conversation become an argument. Give them time to process their thoughts and emotions, and give them grace — and hopefully they’ll extend grace to you in return. You’re all in this together, and you need to support and respect each other throughout the journey.
Don’t Make Any Decisions Yet
Your parents might start talking about getting an abortion or placing the baby for adoption when you tell them. However, it’s important not to make any decisions right away. Time is your friend. Make sure everyone is calm and composed before talking about your options and discussing what you actually want. Furthermore, remember that no one — not even your parents — can make these decisions for you. If you aren’t comfortable with their choices or reasoning, don’t let them pressure you.
In a time like this, you might be surprised by how well your parents take the news. On the other hand, not all parents will react the same way, and there is always a chance that your parents might react poorly. If you find yourself in a bad situation after you tell your parents, remember that there are other places to get help and support.
If you’re in New Jersey, contact Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center. We are here to provide a listening ear, support and resources as you make your pregnancy decision. Give us a call, visit us online to make an appointment, or stop by one of our three locations at any time. All of our services are 100% free and confidential. We’d love to walk this journey with you.