29 Sep Talking About an Unplanned Pregnancy When You’re in a New Relationship
A positive pregnancy test is unsettling on its own. When the relationship is still new, it can feel like you are suddenly being asked to have a five-year conversation with someone you are still getting to know.
You do not have to rush into it.
A few steps can make the conversation steadier, and Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center can walk you through them.
Start With the Facts About Your Health
Before you talk about the future, find out what is true right now.
Our lab-quality pregnancy test confirms the result, and a limited obstetric ultrasound answers three questions that shape everything that follows:
- How far along you are, which determines which options are medically available to you.
- Whether the pregnancy is viable, since 10-20% of early pregnancies can end in miscarriage.
- Whether the pregnancy is growing inside the uterus, or is an ectopic pregnancy that has implanted elsewhere and is a medical emergency.
Going into the conversation with medical information keeps it grounded in reality.
Choose a Setting Where You Feel Safe
In a newer relationship, you may not know yet how your partner reacts to hard news.
Choose a calm, private setting so neither of you feels rushed or stressed before the conversation even starts.
Your safety is your top priority. If your partner has ever frightened or harmed you, your safety comes first. Consider breaking the news in a slightly more public area, where you are in sight of others.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available around the clock, and 911 is the right call in an emergency.
Know the Difference Between Input and Pressure
An overwhelmed partner often needs his own space to sort things out.
Support sounds like curiosity and offers of help.
Pressure sounds like ultimatums, threats, the silent treatment, or withdrawing support unless you choose a certain outcome.
Remember that the decision about the pregnancy is yours. If abortion is being pushed on you, you deserve to know the documented physical and mental risks beforehand.
Give Him Somewhere to Take His Questions
A partner who is overwhelmed often needs his own place to sort things out.
Lighthouse provides pregnancy help for guys, including pregnancy counseling, relationship support to improve communication between the two of you, and ongoing support for new dads.
Confidential Support
Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center is here to journey with you through this time.
We offer free pregnancy testing, ultrasound, and options education, all of which are fully confidential.
Our trained staff can also answer all your questions and help you prepare for the conversation with your partner.
Same-day appointments are often available at our Hawthorne, Hackensack, Paterson, and Wayne locations.
Contact us to schedule your no-cost appointment.