A Gift That Keeps on Giving

This Christmas season as I scanned my Instagram feed, I came across a photo of my friend Abby’s son in front of a big tree in her workplace.  It warmed my heart to think of how her life has been changed for the better by a pregnancy decision more than five years ago.

When I first met Abby, she was attending a college in Massachusetts, and had come home to make a decision about an unexpected pregnancy.  It was a difficult decision.  Continuing with her pregnancy meant she might be the only pregnant student at her school.  It might mean lost opportunities.

Some women in her situation might have opted for abortion.  Many do.  In fact, the majority of women having abortions are in their 20s.

Shawn turned 5 this week.  But if Abby had opted for abortion, she would have missed the gift that he is, and so many other gifts his life continues to bring.  They say, “Hindsight is 20/20.” If you’re pondering a pregnancy decision right now, perhaps Abby’s hindsight can help you:

    shawn by tree My son Shawn is this huge, amazing, and brilliant miracle that has blessed my simple small life. He is here because Lighthouse gave me the strength to drive-on, despite my fears and doubts. Lighthouse was strong for me when I simply couldn’t do it alone.

     Shawn’s dad and I had not yet made anything of ourselves, when I found out I was pregnant, and that was probably the scariest part of all. Feeling like we’d never be able to support this child emotionally, spiritually, and financially – because as a couple, we weren’t close to being ready for a child. (And neither of us was individually stable in those areas.)

     I felt like if I had this baby I’d never become anything, and we’d always struggle.

     When I became pregnant, I was a cadet in an Army reserve officer training program (better known as ROTC) – which I believed I would absolutely have to drop out of to take care of this baby. Today I am in the process of submitting my promotion paperwork to Captain (my second promotion since graduating ROTC). Both my husband and I have wonderful and successful careers, and we are even homeowners. Never did I think I’d own my own home! 

     God works miracles in our lives when we stand up for what we know is right, and he will NOT let us fall (even when it feels like we are at times). Lighthouse was the strength and support I needed to get through the dark times, so that today I can have and enjoy my beautiful life and family! Because I have my amazing little miracle to go home to every day, I am eternally grateful to Lighthouse.     

 – Abby

P.S.  If you didn’t make the same choice as Abby, Lighthouse is here to help you grieve the gift you missed.  Please visit www.LifeAfterAbortion to learn more.


To Abort or Not Abort?

To abort or not to abort; that is the question on the minds of many women, men and teens we serve at Lighthouse. New Jersey has the second highest teen abortion rate in the country, and abortion is often the first option that comes to mind for young adults facing an unintended pregnancy – especially if they are headed to college or on their way to earning a degree.

It would be simpler under these circumstances if you could take a pill and become “unpregnant” (a time- travel pill perhaps that rolls back the clock to a pre-pregnancy time?).  But even a chemical (non-surgical) abortion is not a magic pill free of complications or consequences. Ending a pregnancy this way can be a more intense experience because the woman is usually home alone when the pill takes effect.

Giving birth to a child is also an intense experience – especially if you’re alone and unsupported. But being alone is a temporary experience. Abortion is a permanent, irreversible decision.  At Lighthouse, we frequently see women and men who wish they could turn back the clock to a time before their abortion experience. Sometimes their regret sets in as soon as the pill is swallowed – sometimes it is several days or years later.

Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center wants to offer you services before you make a decision, so that you understand the consequences and possibilities of all your choices. Don’t look back with regret on what might have been. If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, come see what Lighthouse offers to help you move forward with confidence and caring support.